Obituary – Diego Arman Do-Marauder

Maltese Blood Bowl Federation expresses great sorrow for the loss of the legend Diego Arman Do-Marauder. He was known for his dwarven stature, unique technique and his magnetic ball handling skills. His feats are legendary and after his untimely death he is being pronounced as the G.O.A.T.

The main Chaos faction are unhappy with the newly appointed title as Warhammer residents are unaware that G.O.A.T. is actually an acronym and not a CHAOS beast. The Chaos alliance have embarked on an publicity campaign to educate Blood Bowl fans against the corrupt use of language.

Diego started his career with Aguilas Juniores from the New Estalian Kingdom. He quickly rose to fame and was drafted by Pablo Argentes (brother to Estalian hero John Argentes) with the national New Estalian Kingdom team for the Interkingdom Blood Bowl Cup.

Diego’s club career was highlighted by a significant turn of events. During a club match against skaven team Laurelorn Blighters, a skaven fan threw a glowing rock at Diego. Diego’s physiotherapists treated him for the injury and noticed an expurgation behind his neck. It grew into what the apothecarians defined as Polymeliac Expurgation, known in vulgar language as an “Extra Arm”.

Although the new limb served Diego brilliantly, he started becoming increasingly violent. An infamous Chaos Pact team, little known around the world, “No-Pleas just Blood”, made a direct offer to buy him. It was the largest offer made for a Blood Bowl player by far. It is still a mystery how such a small and unheard of team obtained all that gold. Urban legend has it was in Khorne’s plan and Khorne provided.

Only two years after joining the club, New Estalia called him for the Interkingdom Cup. Game after game they steadily cut through their opponents. During the semi-final match against the Brettonian national team, Diego made an impossible intercept with his third hand close to the touch line. Blood Bowl fans and sorcerers alike who were present during the match vouch that they saw his third hand glow in green and red fire during his interception jump. Since then Diego became colloquially known as the Hand of Khorne. Consistent with Khorne’s plan, Diego led his team to win the Interkingdom Cup for the second time in history.

In the years to come, Diego made a pivotal difference to his team and led his team “No-Pleas just Blood” to two great league wins in the Human kingdoms. This was completely unheard of in the realm of Blood Bowl. How could such a poor club win such prestigious titles? That remains another mark of the G.O.A.T.

The rest is history. May Khorne harass Diego’s soul for infinity and beyond.

Written by Blood Bowl literary journalist: Realmalteser Melitus
Art provided by Pedro Ramos – famous sports journalist